On Wednesday a letter in poor taste appeared on an email discussion list, Indian-Malaysian@yahoogroups.com, with the subject line, "Prof. Know It All!", which was ostensibly written and sent by Bill Sentulapathi. Many thought the unfamiliar name a pseudonym, and the person addressed, Professor Rama, dismissed it as too frivilous to warrant a reply. The style and tone of the letter are strangely reminiscent of another current Malaysian figure frequently in the news. The hand of the writer seemed to pop out of the page. The inner thoughts poke out between the lines. A liberal interpretation of these secret inner thoughts, as imaginary as the hantus of Bukit Aman, have been fictionalised to put native dress on the skeletal frame, appearing interspersed in brackets between the lines. HR.

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The letter:

Dear Prof. R.

Being a professor in the Political Science Department it is admitted that the opportunities are aplenty to deliver speeches, pass comments, write articles, give lectures, etc., related to the science of politics. [Professors are educators ... so he is one of those, teaching the children to hate me; to spit on my picture].

However, it does not per se make one the authority on its administration as well [he should spend a day in my shoes].

Prof. Rama is one who is under the impression that it is as easy as lecturing [in his ivory tower, he wouldn't know how difficult politics and governmental administration really are. My daily life is full of complexity, just trying to keep the lid on].

The country is neither a classroom nor is the community a bunch of students [I am the best and only authority on the country and the "community"].

Some of the gangsters [I am driving the term home, to deflect it from being used against our bunch] were caught for spreading rumor in order to aggravate the crisis [reformasi, especially Keadilan, is a serious threat] some seemed quite disappointed [I have personally seen the reports of their interrogation] that the crisis had come to an end sooner than expected [everyone sees it is growing, but I must pretend it is ending] while some were looking forward for something to crop up once again [I am the one who decides when and where something crops up].

I wonder under which category Prof. Rama falls [he is obviously among those reformasi people].

Nevertheless, all of them were asking similar questions as to what steps were taken for the victim's resettlement and recovery [I admit these questions are pertinent, and politically damaging].

Isn't that ironical? [this is a nice phrase, don't you think? I like it. Wonder what it means]

It is quite possible for any Tom, Dick or Harry [I am belittling the internet writers] to advocate idealistic [When I don't say it first, then it is foolish idealism] or impracticable social reforms [all social reform is impractical. Social reform is dangerous, and expensive: as is democratic discussion], little realising the complexities involved [only I have all the facts, being at the head of things].

This does not mean that they will be regarded on a par with Sir Thomas Moore [spelling correct? Oh, well. Everyone thinks Anwar is playing More to my Henry VIII. There is a parallel: a falsely accused boyhood friend and loyal Lord Chancellor. More falsely charged, imprisoned for two years. A staged trial with a guilty verdict based on perjury. All strictly legal ... maybe I could behead Anwar. This famous story from history is a big headache for me; always stirring my mind. Some writer is going to write a book around this theme].

Likewise, Prof. Rama may be remembered for his cynicism [cynicism is ok] but certainly not for his utopian aspirations [mine are superior ... but history may not remember me well ... where have praises of my visions and ideals gone? Ah, well ... now I must think of survival for my children].

There is no point in giving lectures all the time [you academics get respect, but don't take any heat, as I do]. There must be a time to listen to lectures as well [listen to me. Let me do the talking].

If Prof. Rama had attended the seminar [which I arranged] in which the Chief Constable of the Gloucestershire Constabulary, Mr. Tony Butler, Inspector Ian Clark and Mr. John Marshall, First Secretary (Political) at the British High Commission took part and listened to their views, [I listened carefully, as I invited them to advise the government on the use of the ISA they left for us] he would have most likely been in a position [my position] to comprehend the stand taken by our police force [the Prof understands all right. My problem is justifying to everyone the political activities of the Special Branch].

According to these gentlemen [I only invite (pay) foreign, Western gentlemen to advise me; all the rest are currency traders and filthy lying media dogs] the best way to control ethnic clashes [clever of me to tag them thus] is to apprehend all the notorious gangsters even before they do anything in order to prevent the escalation of violence [so I took the Westerners' advice and had the SB bring them all in].

This approach [the term approach here means pre-emptive arrest ... it sounds very scientific] has been widely acknowledged by many countries [I hope no one notices those many countries are the Western colonisers I daily excoriate] to be the best [this means I agree with them, otherwise they are worst] as it has helped to resolve the crisis rather swiftly and smoothly [I know better, but I must sound confident and successful. Politicians must carry a lunch pail of lies].

Prof. Rama should perhaps give up lecturing [my veiled threat] for he might have a very bright future as a soothsayer [or as an ISA prisoner. Work for me, or leave the projections to me]. He has this divine power to predict the future in such a skeptical manner [I am the only divine power in Malaysia. The Prof's predictions are wrong and unpleasant]. I wonder what makes him so sure that restoration of peace will be easier with the gangsters & thugs [repetition to make the lie stick] all around the place.

Isn't it strange that a person of such caliber [I'm making him worthy of my attention], instead of placing faith [sleep, Malaysia, sleep] on a body [by body I mean the police and SB as a public institution ... nobody should be reminded of the other bodies] employed by the government [me] to enforce the law [as I define it] and prevent crime [cover up my activities], actually expects gangsters & thugs [repetition, repetition, repetition] to provide some kind of shield for the community [the kind of shield that protects me and my co-conspirators].

If only Prof. Rama had taken a walk into the kampungs [as I did, accompanied by my bodyguards] and managed to make small talks with the victims, [as I did] he would have had a clear picture as to the nature of problems, the sensitivity and intensity of the issues, the casualties, kind of assistance and compensation received by the families of the victims, etc. [as I have].

He could have also obtained first hand information [from me] on the strategies adopted by the leaders [me] and police forces [my strongarm boys].

He would have been in a better position to weigh the pros & cons of measures and the effectiveness of its implementation [making political analyses, planning strategy, as I do daily].

He would have had an idea as to how long-term issues such as housing etc., have been resolved and much more [I have twenty years experience].

Finally, place his views and suggestions regarding the guidelines of approach, mitigating circumstances, to be considered by the government [communicate with me directly, use proper channels, don't go public].

Unfortunately Prof. Rama caught up with his obsession [to tell the truth about what is going on] apparently never had time for all this [he's too busy criticising me].

I implore [order] the MIC and [demand] the public not to take Prof. Rama seriously [because I say so].

There are quite a few like him, [the growing numbers are bothersome] frantically hoping to become heroes of the internet circle, [I would like to be a hero again, but it's already too late. They all hate me. I don't care] waste hours [as I am doing now] together poisoning [revealing my crimes and cruelty] innocent minds [the new young voters] through their vicious writings [those webmasters are dangerous, exposing our conspiracy].

My humble request [direct order] to the members of MIC is to [a] dismiss these ignorant/insensitive remarks and [b] pretend that these Internet war mongers [webmasters, academicians, journalists, columnists, letter writers, and anyone else] who are craving for attention [stealing my act] are non-existent [if only I could dismiss and forget them].

Before signing off, I would like to make this last suggestion [it is hard for me to stop, once I'm in a ranting mode] -since Prof. Rama doesn't seem to have a nice word to say about anyone [I am looking myself in the mirror as I write], he should probably start his own party [or steal one, as D. and I did] and lead the Indian community [I'm looking for some new talent, Samy dropped the ball in Lunas].

Bye, [and by]

Bill

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