March 21, 2003
In the great affairs of the world, nations make elaborate long-range plans, spending vast sums in pursuit of a valuable strategic objective. The goal is usually economic. Nothing is neglected in these preparations, though a tiny tolerance is reluctantly allowed for some small slit in the risk window of chance, allowing opportunity for the operation of a modicum of unforeseen adversity. Occasionally history notes the entrance of such a small, but decisive, factor, an unexpected event that causes a change in the expected outcome.
The great Spanish Armada of 1588 (also known as The Invincible Armada) was sent to reclaim England for Catholicism, the lands and officers of Papal authority having been misappropriated by Henry VIII to settle a row with Rome over discordant divorce matters arising from Henry's fight for a fecund woman to give him a suitable (legitimate) male heir. In a morality play written large for the big stage of the world, a 'Good' fleet was built at ruinous expense, with borrowed funds. The ships were outfitted with the latest firepower and military technology of the time.
The mighty Spanish galleons were made ready, loaded to the gunwales with troops, ammunition, and a miscellany of military equipment in Portuguese ports. The authors of the escapade resolved to retrieve 'Evil' England from its Protestant heresy, and return it to a properly pious path. All participants were duly blessed and properly immoralised, the very embodiment of Christian virtue. The cause was dipped in righteousness, deemed just, and in alignment with the desires of God. After all, Katherine, the first bride of Henry, was a royal daughter of Spain. Her honour would be restored, a proper justification without any mention of that other matter, the recovery of the wrongly taken Church lands. Either provocation provided sufficient reason to pursue such a great and historic enterprise, otherwise known as a preemptive holy war.
The fleet sailed off to the north, the cry of "Onward Christian Captains" on their lips, and the hopes and prayers of Spanish families reverberating as they thumped their proud hollow chests. The galleons were as huge as their heads; the English had never seen such ships. They would be intimidated, and would certainly not give much of a fight. It was to be a shooting gallery, a cakewalk, duck soup, nothing but a bunch of clay pigeons. The Spanish had overwhelming superiority. The 'Evil English Empire' had only the small fleet of the weak?English (virgin?) Queen Elizabeth. In the event, through a tragi-comic series of misadventures, storms, and Dutch intervention, only a few lucky ships and men ever returned home.
The Spanish Armada remains the greatest of diplomatic fiascos, and the best extant example of how elaborate military preparations can be overcome by unforeseen and unexpected events, recklessly unrelated to the immediate mission afoot, or afloat as it were. In the aftermath, the British hailed the repulsed threat as a great victory. High wind, inclement weather and Dutch assistance gave the win. The British Admiral, Sir Francis Drake, got the credit.
At the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, Napoleon sent his cavalry forward at the crucial moment, confident that they would prevail over the demoralised British. So they might, but for a small depression that quietly and innocently intruded itself across the line of charge. It was just small enough to be invisible from a distance, too steep to ride down into, and too wide to jump over. The cavalry, at full gallop, tumbled wildly and chaotically, into this little ditch, and the Grand French Empire came to an abrupt end before sunset, amid the shrill screeching of horses in distress and flailing hooves. Britain, humbled earlier by the successful revolution of the American colonies, awarded another victory by chance, was exultant. The gift of the ditch was gratuitous and uninvited. The British General, Wellington, got the credit.
Today we read that three of the expensive helicopters being used in Iraq have crashed, killing many of the troops being ferried to battle. It is not Iraq military activity, or any failure of the invading soldiers that causes the casualties. The crashes are attributed to the presence of sand in the air, blown up by fierce winds typical of the season. The sand, in the jargon of the time, is a chemical agent. It is present in the air as small particles of the chemical silicon dioxide, which Iraq has secretly hidden about in the vast expanse of its territory. Use of this agent is damaging to the eyes, causing immediate distress, and may become a disabling injury. Breathing it causes silicosis, a permanent disability to the lungs.
It gets into the eyes. Unless properly treated, the offending chemical agent rapidly removed, permanent damage to the tissues of the eye is possible. If inflammation is a contributing factor, blindness may result. The matter of Iraq's use of this chemical agent is certain to be brought forward as a topic in the Security Council of the United Nations. Worldwide indignation will result. The French, having previously announced that they will enter the fray only if chemical and biological weapons are used, may find this a convenient entre', overcoming a prior revulsion at the appalling lack of any perceived previous gross violations of an international standard, that is always required to justify the use of violence in pursuit of an economic or political benefit.
Iraq insists that it is innocent, possessing no weapons of this type. The US considers this insufficient. The UN inspectors have found no evidence of such weapons, nor any record that would indicate they have been sent to foreign terrorists. The US again considers this insufficient, insisting that for twelve years Iraq has been delaying, reneging on its promise to rid itself of weapons the US sold it during the Iran war. It seems the receipts have been retained, and the US requires they be destroyed before public scrutiny causes injury. Now the truth can be readily seen. The evidence is all around. It was cleverly hidden, right before our eyes. It is clear that the Iraqi's have indeed lied, and for this they must be punished by forfeiture of all available resources, whether above or below ground. Let history record that we could see the sand because it was in our eyes. We could not get the Iraqi sand from between our toes. Let it be a testament to the exquisite wiliness of this fox Saddam Hussein.
That the chemical agent sand exists in Iraq can now no longer be denied. It has caused the first casualties of the war. We must now admit that sand can be a significant unforeseen factor, insinuating itself through the slightest crack in the window of risk and chance. Sand is insidious, in that it tends to be sensitive to serendipitous targets of opportunity. It quietly enters the wildly surging turbines of highly technical instruments, such as jet planes, helicopters and tanks. It rapidly pits and abrades the rotor blades of the helicopters, and sandblasts the spinning turbine blades of jet engines. In the presence of 10,000 vehicles, 1,000 planes, hundreds of helicopters, tanks and personnel carriers, bulldozers and various auxilliary and support equipment, sand, in the right hands, must be considered a weapon capable of mass destruction.
You may want to know something about sand, by way of background. It comes in assorted sizes, and can be delivered mixed or in readily assembled packets of sorted sizes. In it's more minute form, as a dilute wind-blown dust, it is still virulently active, able to intrude itself surreptitiously into eyeball sockets and ball bearings of great strength and tolerance. Its corrosive and deleterious presence is not detectable until it is too late. It acts by destroying the film of lubricant that prevents metal-to-metal contact between the rotating balls and rollers of the bearing (made of the hardest steel) and the surrounding race. Once sand enters a bearing, it is just a matter of time before the bearing fails. The sand, in a kind of suicide attack, sacrifices itself to stop the rotating axle, wheel or blade that the bearing supports. You have heard the sequence before ... "for want of bearing, a turbine is lost. For want of a turbine, the helicopter is lost ... etc." A nursery rhyme tells the tail of the tale ... "if the wind blows, down will come cradle, baby and all."
The cost effectiveness of sand is enormous. The ratio between the cost of the chemical agent and the equipment it destroys is infinitely high. It is readily available, and easy to conceal among the customary terrain of the battlefield. Worse yet, it is invisible to electronic detection, radiating little or no signal. The infra-red emission is impossible to detect against ambient background noise. It is such an evil that a new resolution is certain to be introduced at the United Nations, outlawing its use in war, declared or not, by all nations, civilised or not.
It is said the introduction of sand by the wily wizard of Baghdad, will not affect the outcome of the invasion, nor greatly decrease the fighting fitness of the willing combatants, legal or illegal, and the in-bedding journalists, censored or not. The sand is silent, and certain to get no credit, regardless of the outcome. Because wind is a contributing factor to the effectiveness of sand as a chemical agent, it is being examined carefully to determine if the Iraqi's are able to export this adjuvant to foreign terrorists.
A special 600-member team has been assigned the task of determining what may be expected from Iraq in the way of heat. The Iraqi's have long been known to have hidden stores of heat, and have kept this knowledge from the UN inspectors. No documents have been found, which further arouses suspicion that Iraq intends to use this as an illegal weapon in the war, and intends to export it to terrorists associated with fundamental Islamic groups, including the notoriously aggressive women and children of Palestine.
Israel routinely reports the spirited resistance of the young people of Palestine, and how the operation of their US-supplied bulldozers is impeded by the bodies of Palestinians found among the rubble of Palestinian houses being cleared for new settlements. Israel has generously loaned a number of its armoured bulldozers for use in the Iraq conflict, though this support is not for publication, so please don't repeat it to anyone. Secrecy in these matters is paramount, as it may reveal operational plans that jeopardise the lives of the troops.
The secret weapons of Iraq, chemical, biological and nuclear, euphemistically termed "weapons of mass destruction," are suitable for export to the terrorists of Palestine, who are singularly deprived of adequate means of defense. The sand grains of the Palestinians are too large to be effective, often assuming the size of small stones. They have neither excessive heat nor high winds. As a result, their cause must be considered hopeless.
Neighborly Saddam Hussein, who offers to supply them from his abundant stores, offends Israel with this threat, and is thus targeted for murder, sanitary or not. The US, always the good uncle, agrees to take the contract. Britain, eager to have a pot of the oil, follows waggishly along, with the nose of Australia close on the tail-high scent of spoil. It is all camouflaged in the sand-coloured clothes of a supposed necessity for national security, the elimination of some mysterious force, like magnetism, that might act at a distance of ten thousand miles. The Israeli Prime Minister, Sharon, gets all the credit.
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