In the recent election held in Pending Bucket, there is nothing especially noteworthy to report. No one has taken much interest in it, other than the candidates themselves, their respective party activists, the craven media, the abused electorate, and, of course, the unpaid creditors of the various bus lines that supplied transportation for those registered voters who reside miles and miles from the polling place. They took a day off from work to cast their vote. They lost a day's wages. One hopes they felt adequately compensated for this patriotism by having satisfied a sincere desire to support the concept of democracy through personal participation in the electoral process. Additional inducement, enticement or emolument to cast a vote is illegal, but everyone knows this.
Pending Bucket is one of those quiet backwater districts where democracy demonstrates itself in the nude, proudly prancing about before the people in celebration that the election commission is acting fairly toward the two candidates, each seeking the trust of the people in handling their federal affairs, and certainly secondarily, the salary and perquisites which attach to a position that offers an opportunity to get exercise playing golf every day of the year. Such is the generosity of the office, that even a spell of rain does not dampen enthusiasm for outdoor exercise, clean air, and a chance to commune with one's fellow timber and land barons.
Down in the Federal Capital, it is rumoured the air is foul from exhaust, and lines are long in the emergency rooms, people thronged to find treatment for asthma, lung-burning sensations, chronic bronchial irritation and so forth. These are not the concern of the candidate from Pending Bucket, however, as the demands on his time do not include attendance at the irregular Parliamentary sessions.
The administration, showing its usual care and concern, sends the usual stipend each month, along with enough extra cash to keep pest control agents active around the mansion and minor outbuildings of the estate. This is a real concern, as the main manor house selected by the successful candidate in Pending Bucket covers about a thousand hectares or so. Aside from the driver and the spacious car, a small entourage of seven or eight maids, gardeners and security guards is enough to provide basic house and kitchen care, with additional servants brought in when entertaining guests, as many as required.
The election itself is hardly worth the words to describe it, a routine day for the Election Commission personnel who dutifully manage the ballot boxes and make the final tally. They are a loyal and diligent bunch, counting and re-counting incessantly until it is certain the desired result is achieved. Democracy is a beautiful thing to behold in the unfolding. The election day activity is like a mushroom, long in preparatory stages, but fast in the final delivery of the fruit. This is especially true when the people's trust is gently protected to ensure that no fraud takes place during the balloting and counting. The process is sensitive to suspicions of subterfuge and sabotage.
In Pending Bucket the Election Commission carefully prepares a list of those who are qualified to vote, and from time to time strikes off the names of those who are not qualified to vote because of some silly supervening circumstance, such as death or other debilitating disability. Every effort is made to be fair, however, and where there is any instance of doubt, someone is sent to cast a proxy vote for the departed voter. Because all deceased are considered certain to be true patriots, giving their full support to the party presently in power, their vote is cast accordingly.
Election day in the more remote areas, such as Pending Bucket, is sufficiently out of the ordinary to create a small stir, and draws idle onlookers from throughout the countryside. They come in by the busload, anxious and eager to see democracy in the raw, practiced without wile or sleight of hand among the simple and pure of heart. The deception and guile characteristic of big city political life is absent in Pending Bucket, and the beauty and honesty displayed by the pollsters and party participants brings many an idealistic to tears. Those who think Idealism died with big party politics should come to Pending Bucket. It is there, if anywhere, that the theory is tested, showing that the common man has the good sense to choose honest and wise representatives, men capable of rising above the temptations of individual greed and ambition.
The electioneering was not without its lighter moments. One popular poster portrayed a Muslim in the garb of a priest. Another warned the innocent away from a lady in sunglasses. An elderly man, aroused from his afternoon nap by a group of professional vote solicitors, raised his sarong to display his displeasure, as it were. The ladies, confronted with this naked and corpulent rebuke, backed away complaining of "uncivilised and barbaric behaviour." It is reported the man resolutely and calmly returned to his nap, and, having indicated forcefully his preference for the opposing candidate, was not molested further by the hasty departure of the indignant, elbow-swinging feminists.
The counting had its moments of controversy, as the results from some of the polling stations were reported serially several times, each giving different results, and always with the new numbers favoring further the same candidate. Such things are bound to happen, and the so the counting continued into the night, with the candidates anxiously awaiting the result. When finally it was over, the candidate of the party in power prevailed. Pending Bucket was back in the same safe hands again, after suffering the indignity of being taken by the opposition in the last outing.
The turnout in Pending Bucket shows how enthusiastically an interested and educated populace will endorse the voting process when properly prepared and stimulated. Ordinarily a good turnout would be in the range of 60-65%, but a seat that is strenuously contested often raises this to 80% or more. Indeed, higher results are known, as is the case in the present instance. In the recent election in Pending Bucket, the patriotic citizens turned out to vote in such numbers that the percentage was 125%, a record that will probably never be broken. Not until the next election, anyway.
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