What does Malaysia have to offer? Well, we have the Special Branch, for one. They get a lot of attention for their skill and expertise. We could do a better job of promoting these experts, showing their techniques at destroying people's bodies and minds.

We have the Attorney-General's office, where dedicated prosecutors demonstrate creative approaches to cruel and inhuman treatment. History is being made in Malaysia. Not since the show trials of the Stalin era has the world seen such a delightful spectacle.

Rather than deny such things are happening, why not get a return for our money via advertising the skill with which our prosecutors display their thespian proclivities. The Attorney-General said a few days ago, "We do not put on show trials." This makes the tourist confused. He and the tourism minister should get their heads together for the economic benefit of Malaysia.

We have the daylight handbag snatchers, adroitly removing the ladies' valuables while passing perched precariously on pedicycles and pogo sticks. Some are able to remove the contents without disturbing the owner. This type of sleight of hand should not go unheralded.

We have a country free of guns. This is a big plus, although some attention naturally is drawn to the skill of passing marksmen who pull up beside the car and fire a chamber of bullets into your head. The casualness with which they walk away is notable. They sometimes enter the restaurant where you are eating and put two or three bullets into your head. This aid to digestion should not escape our advertising.

The infighting of our politicians is drawing attention worldwide. Allegations of sexual encounters of the grossest kind are prominently displayed to one and all in the media. We need more pictures of this. The Tourism Ministry should get some drawings to enhance the mental images the press generates. Perhaps the prosecutors can meet with the graphics experts of the media to provide some attractive photographs.

All in all, given the circus atmosphere in our courtrooms, complete with clowns in gowns, we provide a daily three-ring show. The government has gone far toward building the international image of Malaysia. Why not more publicity that emphasises these colorful attributes?

As a nation we have billions of ringgit invested in our ministers. The full story of their ingenuity in pocketing the public money is not well known. Here is media power that is not being utilised. Let's get some return by putting on public display these dramatic transfers of cash from country to country. Jet setters love this kind of intrigue, and are known to be excitedly understanding of its motivation.